Are you seeing changes in your teen that you find concerning?
Is your teen dealing with anxiety or depression, and you’re unsure how to support them?
Do conversations with your teen often turn into arguments or result in brief, one-word responses?
Is your teen struggling with a sense of not fitting in?
Adolescence can be challenging for both teens and parents. Teens navigate the balance between seeking independence and the need to belong, with friendships becoming central to their lives. Parents may feel anxious and uncertain about their teen’s changes, often struggling to differentiate between typical adolescent behavior and more serious issues. Teen counseling can provide valuable support during this time.
What is it like being a teenager today?
Being a teenager today is quite different from our own experience. While many of us wouldn’t want to revisit the struggles of our adolescence, today's generation faces intensified challenges. Academic demands and homework are more rigorous, and competitive sports and extracurricular activities bring higher expectations and pressure. Social interactions are complicated by social media, including issues like cyberbullying and body image concerns. Peer pressure around sexuality, drugs, and alcohol starts earlier, and additional factors such as puberty, family problems, and major life changes like divorce or blending families further complicate their lives.
Teenage Anxiety
Fear and worry are natural reactions to stressful situations. For teens, experiencing some anxiety before a test or a big game can be normal and even helpful. However, anxiety becomes concerning when it persists without a clear cause or ongoing stress. Surprisingly, nearly one in three adolescents aged 13 to 18 now meet the criteria for an anxiety disorder.
Two common types of anxiety in teens
There are 2 forms anxiety that often show up in adolescents: academic anxiety and social anxiety.
Academic anxiety is usually adult driven. High performance focus from well-intentioned parents and teachers can create a pressure to perform. For example, it can feel like every test grade has the potential of ruining their chance of getting in to a good college.
Social anxiety is peer driven. The struggle to fit in and be accepted. Anxious teens can scrutinize everything they say or how they look in fear of being judged and/or rejected.
Both academic and social anxiety can negatively affect self-esteem. A teen with low self-esteem will likely have negative thoughts about their worth and value as a person. They tend to avoid situations where they think there’s risk of failure, embarrassment or making mistakes.
Teenage Depression
Depression is more common among teenagers than many realize. Approximately 32% of teens report ongoing feelings of sadness or loneliness, and it's estimated that one in five adolescents will experience depression during their teenage years.
While occasional mood swings and acting out are typical in adolescence, depression is more severe. It extends beyond temporary feelings of sadness, deeply affecting a teen’s personality and leading to overwhelming sadness, despair, or anger. Unhealthy behaviors or attitudes in teenagers can often signal depression.
Teen depression can present differently than it does in adults. Instead of just sadness, you might notice increased irritability, anger, or withdrawal, with teens spending more time isolated in their rooms.
Some signs and symptoms of teen depression:
Irritability, anger, or hostility
Withdrawal from friends and family
Loss of interest in activities
Poor school performance
Lack of enthusiasm and motivation
If you suspect that your teen is depressed, bring up your concerns in a loving, non-judgmental way. Even if you’re unsure that depression is the issue, the troublesome behaviors and emotions you’re seeing may be signs of a problem that should be addressed.
How a teen counselor can help?
Having support and guidance from a teen counselor through these challenging times can be beneficial for your teen. It is important for teens to have a safe place and person to voice their concerns and feelings with. Exploring their internal struggles and growing a healthy self-esteem is vital.
I will help them develop a broader understanding of the challenges they are going through that will make sense. I will teach them effective ways to approach situations, to be able to connect with their emotions without dysregulating, and be able to express themselves in healthy ways.
What if my teen doesn’t want to do therapy?
Some teenagers are concerned that a therapist will be just another adult telling them how they are the problem. Talking about some of the potential benefits for them to have someone to talk to that will hold their time together as sacred and confidential and truly listen can help ease those concerns. You, as the parent, can trust if there is a serious concern for safety that is revealed in a session, you will be informed.
Letting your teen be a part of the therapist selection process can be helpful as well. Also, letting them know that they can use the sessions to talk about whatever is important to them.
What if getting my teen to a session with my work schedule is hard?
Taking time off from work to get your teen to appointments can be challenging. Also, trying to coordinate other scheduling demands like extra-curricular activities and other family members needs can be difficult. The good news is I do online sessions as well as in-person. So, if it is easier for your teen to meet with me online to eliminate driving issues, I am happy to accommodate that.
If your teen and you are on the same page about starting teen counseling, feel free to contact me to talk about the first steps.